Hippies

Alright, alright. So in this Blog I will finally answer the one question I know you have all wanted to ask, but never felt you could. That’s right. I’m going tell you why I am a member of the Green Party.

The Greens are a bunch of crazy, tree hugging hippies that are itching to legalise all drugs and to pass laws that will force you to eat only what you can grow. They want to reduce the military to a non-nuclear and non-carrier wielding self defence force. They want to tax the British airline industry out of existence and keep us all firmly rooted where we belong. They want to increase energy bills by making the UK 100% reliant on wind, wave and solar. They want to place a ban on all new roads being built and would like to kindly ask you all to get on your bikes, or else.

Thankfully, they will never be elected. And, more to the point – they never have. They do not have any MP’s nor have they come close to getting any. They do not control any local councils and they only have two measly MEP’s. They also have a Peer. And in the last election they slipped to 5th in the rankings as the BNP smoked them at the lights.

I am a Green simply because I do not view them as a serious political party. I view them as a campaign group. My reasoning is as follows: When UKIP and the BNP win votes –The Government takes notice. They soon come out with a smattering of policies designed to lock up Muslims and blow raspberries at the French. So I say, if it can work for racists – why not the environmentalists? I want to scare the major parties into being Greener. It’s the only language they understand.

The environment, as we all know – is reasonably important. But I am not someone who thinks we should leave things untouched, on ho. I am a horribly greedy Green. I think we should protect the environment – but only so that we can better exploit it in years to come!

I love all things nuclear. I love cars. I love the military. I love restrictions on drug users that force them into crime. I love aeroplanes. I love testing products on helpless animals (if we don’t – India will). I love bananas and I want my food grown in Africa, not Suffolk. I love eating meat and I’d probably love hunting too.

But the last thing I want is for Mother Nature to pull the rug from beneath my feet as I’m enjoying myself.

So I vote Green.

But on another note, if I didn’t vote Green, I would certainly vote for the Chameleon, not the Communist.