Ok boys and girls. Listen to me now.

This is very strange.
My thoughts are at a thousand miles an hour and I am speaking out loud as I type.

Fingers too slow. Tonight was bad. Tonight was very bad. Tonight was so low. Tonight I destroyed myself. I didn’t hurt myself. Not physically. That is not my style. It really is a reversal of evolution. I am becoming lava. I am the midst of my teenage years. I can only grow.

I am sedated right now. But this is a sign of my success. I suffered. I worried. I wrote a blog about my failings. About my surrender to a phobia. I tried so hard to defeat. But I could not. For I was a failure. Now.

I really am sedated. This American stuff is too strong for me. Especially since I have been off the ‘meds’ for so long now. I can really really feel it. The room is not quite spinning. But I do feel very sick. This is not melodrama. Think what you like I am not afraid to admit my defeat any longer. Defeat, it would appear is just an opportunity. For I have overcome my phobia tonight. It will resruface. But tonight was my victory. Although it feels so shallow right now. This is emo at its finest.

I am emo. I can’t remember what I just wrote. Im going to post. Now.
Then im going straight to bed.

Good night world.