The Fourth Reich

Earlier today I told CK that under no circumstances whatsoever was I going to blog today. I have more important things to be doing I told him. Of course, having said that meant that I simply HAD to blog. So here it is. And it’s about Poles.

As I was waiting an agonising fifteen minutes for a member of the local Islamic petit bourgeois to cook me my Pizza this evening I nipped next door to get a paper. The Independent had a headline report by Robert Fisk – who when not being a Middle East correspondent writes books, bizarrely, on Ireland (?) and as such he found his way onto my reading list. So I had to buy him. But it wasn’t his article that got me thinking.

You see I like the Independent (Janet Street Porter aside) because it’s the only paper I know to carry pro-EU stories and it was just such a story that grabbed my attention. Apparently there are now over 500,000 Eastern European workers in Britain – and in a country of 60 million that is a quite a sizeable minority – and they have only been here since the EU expansion of 2004. A rapid demographic change in any ones book. In fact I am surprised the right wing press hasn’t had more of a field day than it has. This might be a hopeful sign for British society and a credit to those immigrants who have integrated so seamlessly into our society. Although I get the impression the thugs and bigots of Great Britain have been so caught up shouting at Muslims of late that our new EU cousins may have slipped in unnoticed. Anyways.

The EU is getting bigger. Bulgaria and Romania join in January and if any one is interested I intend to be a part of the first wave of British yobs to smash up Sofia in search of cheap kicks – anyone interested?

People seem to be against these new arrivals and against expansion. Yet I think the opposite, I think the EU should get even bigger. First, sort out this constitutional mess. The French only voted against it because they were upset at Chirac so the project still has life. Get that sorted then we can go really crazy. Get in Turkey, get in the Balkans. Then let’s really upset Russia and grab Ukraine, Belarus and Moldova from under their nose. Get em all in. If the Daily Mail wants to protect ‘British’ values than it must recognise these values stem from a European heritage and the best way to protect them in the long run is to secure Europe. All of Europe.

But what of the hordes of unskilled and non-English speaking workers? What of their diseases/alien culture/competitive skill base? Pish. Nonsense. Britain needs immigrants more than ever. Us English infidels are simply refusing to breed, we all indulge in a multitude of sins - like contraception, sexual equality and divorce - which are impairing our ability to compete in the world population rankings. We need new blood.

I may rightfully be accused of nimby-ism on this one since I simply don’t live in an area which witnesses mass immigration nor do I compete in the same labour markets as these new arrivals . In fact I don’t compete in any labour market. So what do I know?

The only Polish guy I know is the guy I live with – and he has spent the last year ruining the British economy by working as a computer programmer - and is now doing his Phd in Computer Science. If they are all as bright as he - then we really are all done for. From my window I can also see a new Polish Deli complete with Christmas decorations. They sell all kinds of cool cheeses and meats and I don’t see Tesco offering me the same sort of choices. But I suspect both my flatmate and the shop owner would make terrible plumbers.

Perhaps I am not seeing the wider picture. On the flip side a friend of mine who works for Suffolk Constabulary recently told me that the Eastern Europeans are forming the new drug gangs in my humble hometown. But of course they will! - There is a hell a lot of money to be made in drugs – it is a traditional pastime for new immigrants looking to get their foot on the ladder. Stop blaming the most recent ethnic salesperson of choice and address the real problem – poor white kids that are desperate for their wares. Have you never seen Scarface?

Well, that’s that then. Just wanted to stand up for all of Eastern Europe. When I retire I plan to move to a Bulgarian city on the Black Sea where I shall invite over all my friends (whom, mostly being heathens, will undoubtedly all be spinsters, widows or divorcees by then) and together we shall create an ‘English’ quarter. I shall open that 60's themed restaurant I have bean meaning to and will live out my days happily with my beautiful Latvian wife (whom I shall will meet while working in Italy) . For lunch we shall dine on fish and chips, chicken tikka and steak and kidney pies. And together we shall spend our afternoons buttering scones in fancy tearooms by the beach. And as EU citizens - we will every right too.