Inconsequential musings

Six hours of listening to countless doctrinal candidates indulge themselves for ten excruciatingly long minutes apiece in their perverse, narrow and irrelevant subject to which they shall pledge three to five years of their young lives. Titles like ‘Linguistic transitions in Scotland 1100 – 1450’ and ‘Irish political and diplomatic commentary on Cyprus 1954 – 64’ caused my eyes to glaze over in seconds. The whole process predictably overran from its painfully scheduled three hours to an all too sickening six.

Needless to say I had a lot of time to think. The arguments bouncing around the room refer to places, people and theories I have never heard of. Admittedly all these people are studying classics and the six of us doing modern history are huddled into the corner trying to dodge the Aristotelian cross fire. Yet I bet you any one of these other people with their big words and theories would happily wade into our field of speciality and act like the pompous arrogant gits they appear to be. Who cares how many Charlotte Bronte novels you have read. Surely this is only a sign of your irreversible detachment from reality. I just wish they would wipe that smug look off their faces. I am a normal human being without an intricate knowledge of obscure Gaelic poets, and if I did – I certainly wouldn’t be proud of it. Why raise your eyes to the heavens and give that disapproving look to everything and everyone?

Let’s get things straight. I love history and I love learning. Yet I never, ever want to become so detached from the real world that my knowledge and experience becomes so exclusive I develop this obnoxious and flippant air of superiority that is so absurdly shallow it simply deserves a good kick.

There is a time and a place for specialisation and I suppose I must begrudgingly admit that without these people and their focussed studies the wider histories that capture the imagination with epic stories of human suffering and achievement wouldn’t be possible. Yet I personally find it very hard to stay so passionate about so narrow a topic. Bravo, I suppose, to those that can.

As proof of my inability to stay concentrated on the one goal I used these six hours to compile a list of other degrees I want to do when I have the time. They are, in no particular order: Ludology, Economics, History of Science, Classics and Astrophysics and perhaps another general History degree – I still don’t think I have scratched the surface. Is that so greedy of me?

Incidentally I also wouldn’t mind biting the bullet and doing one of these insanely obscure studies to become a professor at some point. But of course I need to squeeze these in along side my other ambitions of running a failed renewable energies firm, writing books on the history of space flight, being an officer in the RN and becoming an M.E.P. I also wouldn’t mind enjoying myself at some point.

I could probably go on … but I don’t want to get ahead of myself here now do I? Oh – I also want to own shares in Ipswich Town Football Club – and open a 60’s themed coffee house somewhere. So with these modest goals – oh and I want to live in a foreign speaking country for at least two years – and run in all the worlds major marathons - I think it’s time I actually started doing something.

What was that about linguistic transitions?