America's disease begins to spread

I do enjoy a good riot. For starts they make great television and every May 1st I hope some misguided punk will give a copper a good smashing just so I can watch the ensuing fight. But I’m a little twisted like that. Bizarrely what I most tend to admire about such events is when the authorities win out. Unlike the spineless French who give in to a few thousands pot smoking students with placards, here in Britain we have a few more draconian laws in favour of the police and we never let the people get their way. If nothing else riots keep the authorities on their toes. Keeps them thinking and earning their wages. Plus they can be of even greater benefit too. We must never forgot how Margaret Thatcher, by depriving a few hundred thousands miners and their families of a future, was able to immeasurably make the whole country richer. And, loath him as I might, Rupert Murdoch played a cruelly cunning trick on the powerful printing unions by secretly building an automated press that came online at the exact same moment that he sacked all his overpaid union workers from their jobs printing ‘The Sun’.

So as I was flicking through the newspaper and saw that in Copenhagen up to 700 so called ‘leftists’ had been arrested after a weekend of frenzied violence I paid attention. Typical Europe I thought, full of lefties still waiting for the USSR to come liberate them from the Imperial powers of old Europe. But this riot came with an interesting twist.

The riots were in reaction to the closure of a local youth centre, which had become the seat of leftwing activism in the Danish capital. First opened to the public in 1982 to keep folk off the streets it also became a hot venue for street music and culture. All of which seem like healthy developments and of which I am in favour. I think such institutions add character to a place and disagree as I might on their finer points of philosophy such places still retain a ‘cool’ factor. But this one was being closed.

And why? Had the government had enough? Was it looking to squash this movement in its infancy? After all these would be perfectly understandable reasons and indeed typical behaviour for many a government. But no. Armed police conducted a morning raid to oust the men and women from the centre because the building had a new buyer.

A buyer by the name of Ruth Eversen. And Eversen had purchased the site because God had told her to. Oh joy. God had instructed her to ‘return’ Denmark to its righteous path of Christian ‘love’ and ‘charity’ - and other such shamefully spiteful words hijacked by organised religion. God had told her specifically to start with the part of town in which the youth centre was based. God must enjoy picking fights because it is also the same part of town in which Copenhagen’s large Muslim community is based.

Good old born again Christian bigots. It seems the disease is spreading out from its American heartland.

Let it be known that should there ever be a riot in which either left or right faced a religious opponent – count me in. And my old offer still stands. In anticipation of the day of reckoning when the Christians take over I am still looking for partisans to come live with me in the mountains from where we shall conduct lighting raids on churches to install condom machines in their bathrooms and distribute scissor sister records under the pews.

Solidarity my brothers, solidarity.