Born to be

I’m not much very good at any one thing. I think that’s a given. I’m not charismatic, I’m not confident and I don’t have a natural gift for numbers. I read a lot but am far from ‘widely read’ and couldn’t last two minutes discussing classical literature. I have a masters degree in history and wrote what I consider to be an interesting if a somewhat unremarkable dissertation about RAF Coastal Command. That is the one and only field in which I would consider myself an expert. And as I’m sure you can tell, it isn’t one of the most in demand subject areas right now.

I’m unemployed with only a basic background in frying up English breakfasts to decorate my CV. I have no employable skills whatsoever. Worse than that, the one field in which I assumed I could simply fall into, is proving far more difficult than I ever imagined. Teaching – it is what you do when you run out of options right? It is the butt of countless (very funny) jokes, particularly in the recent “Armstrong and Miller show” – ‘Good enough to get a degree but not good enough to get a job? -Teach’. How very true.

Therefore it is a rude awakening for me to realise that I can’t even do that. I could apply to be a History teacher but two reality checks await. Firstly all history training posts are massively over subscribed so the chances of getting on to any program, let alone the one I want, are slim. Secondly even if successful becoming qualified as a history teacher is almost as useless as having a history degree in the first place. No one wants history teachers. Jobs for history teachers are very few and far between. The thought of spending a further year and further money to end up in the same economically redundant situation does not appeal in the slightest. Yet teaching retains its appeal and after a discussion with a friend of a friend the thought of primary school teaching suddenly became a viable option. Primary schools are crying out for male teachers, desperate in fact – a whole generation of kids are growing up without any male role models at all and I for one believe that this can cause some problems. And wouldn’t it be great if I were trained in a profession that actually wanted me? How cool would that be? To actually be valued.

But no. I can’t even teach six year olds to glue their hands together because I didn’t get a B Grade in my GCSE Maths when I was 16. Instead I got a C grade and that means that MSc or not I’m not eligible to apply. Unbelievable. Not only that but before a teaching school will even look at you it is vital that you can demonstrate a ton of voluntary work in the school environment and that you have the glowing references that follow from this.

My assumption that teaching was my easy, fallback option appears to have been way off the mark. I am redundant in every sense of the word. You see, things aren’t helped by the fact that I really do not know what it is I want to do. I look at the jobs in the papers and online and there is nothing that jumps out at me as being wonderful. For example I looked at applying for the graduate training schemes at some banks and at the graduate training scheme in Marketing run by the Post Office. I mean – ugh. Firstly I would never even get on them because they require you to attend a hundred different interviews and compete against other unfortunate sods in various simulated exercises and debates. The thought of being constantly assessed as I present a pretend proposal to a room of potential employers makes me sick with dread.

And for the ultimate kick in the teeth I can’t even get a basic service sector job. Even Starbucks demands years of experience in serving coffee and that you be fluent in Italian coffee varieties before they fork out the minimum wage for you. If you happened to be unfortunate enough to have a degree then you’re done for, you’re application will almost certainly be put to the bottom of the pile because they are worried you might show some sort of aspiration to better yourself. Friends of mine have been told by job agencies to remove their degree from their CVs altogether and pretend they did something more productive during those three years.

So I am in something of a pickle. At the edges of my existence at the moment I am still soldering on with the Reserves and am making a very poor attempt at learning French. In fact this weekend I disappear with the Reserves for two weeks of basic training. I am excited and terrified by this in equal measure and hope to God that I pass (and earn myself a photo wearing a funny hat).

But then sometimes this state of semi-pessimism (this isn’t full blown pessimism - trust me) evaporates and I am overcome with a sense of just how awesome we all are and how I, just like everyone else, is capable of anything we put our minds too. Regrettably these spurts of enthusiasm for life tend to be short lived but they propel me through my day.

But why shouldn’t I be capable of doing anything I want? While I don’t know what I want – I don’t see why I should limit the infinite possibilities that lie in front of me. I mean, what would be cool? A diplomat. That would be neat. Working in a foreign embassy, speaking the native lingo, attending dinner parties of local dignitaries and smoking cigars. And of course occasionally being called upon to wake up my host countries President at 4am to gravely inform him that HMS Elizabeth II is sitting cosy off his coastline and that I suggest he sign the armistice now, before he upsets Her Majesty’s Government any further. Or something to that effect.

Or working as the operations officer for a NGO. Sorting out the transportation of construction materials through the dangerous tribal regions of central Asia before assembling the local labour to build a new school or orphanage. That would be neat too.

How about being the public relations officer for Virgin Galactic? Keeping the press up to date about our achievements and future price cuts. Or why couldn’t I work as the campaign manager for a political party or election candidate?. The West Wing in real life, with me as one of the main characters. I would love that.

I could go on. But the point is I honestly don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to do any of these things, or even why I shouldn’t be capable of achieving a handful of them. What I do know is that life is unpredictable and there is no telling where I will end up or what I will end up doing – and that is exciting just as it is frustratingly difficult to plan for.

So anyway. I’m young, I’m healthy and I have an education which while not preparing me for the world, has at least taught me of its existence. Time is on my side and given that we are all going to live until at least 120 years of age I shouldn’t feel rushed. But at the same time I shouldn’t hesitate to get stuck in to a career. Breaking into an industry takes time, a few years even, especially when building from such a low base, but it is possible and only strengthens you when you change directions again at a later stage.

Life is an exciting business.

So I want to be a teacher in Scotland. I want to teach overseas and I want to use my teaching skills to travel around the world, teaching as I go. I want to work for a political party and campaign during an election. I want to advise governments and businesses in sustainable economic practices. I want to run my own renewables company. I also want to help in someway to propel human civilisation into the heavens. I want to freely travel the globe and drink cocktails with my small diaspora of international friends. I want to be a global citizen. I want to go into space and I want to see the Earth from outside. I’d like to step on the moon. I want to allow as many people as possible to share that experience with me, because I believe it would act as an enormous injection of perspective. Like Arthur C Clarke once said, flags do not wave in space. Oh, and I want to have kids. Well, I’m thinking that adoption would actually be the best way of doing things (and get me kudos green points), but we’ll see. I want a little feller to take to football practice and see grow up. But that’s a long way off as yet. If push comes to shove I can wait until I’m 50 and then find some desperate whore of a 20 year old to adopt as mother to my children and as a humanitarian side project. I’m thinking I’d like to climb some high mountains and spend weeks at a time trekking through jungles and deserts. I’d like to work for the UN and the EU, and accordingly I’d like to speak at least five languages fluently. At least. I want to be a junior officer in the Royal Navy or if possible in some other nations armed forces, just because I think it represents a fantastic achievement to join the ranks of this incredibly diverse but extremely capable bunch of young people. I want to write academic studies and advise government policy.

And I think that, as with everything else, once you’ve done one of these things, the others become a lot easier. Perhaps I need to work hard at cracking just one and hope that a domino effect kicks in. Of course I will achieve none of the above, but I could potentially achieve a few other things, which while not on the list are just as exciting.

So here’s hoping. What I actually meant to say today was this. From now on I think I’ll keep this blog as the site for all my human posts. Posts about me and funny things I notice in other people. More of an autobiographical set of accounts and I’ll begin to put things like book reviews and political thoughts in my Athenia 1939 blog. That way there is a clear distinction between the two, which also caters nicely to my audience. As far as I can tell I actually have two relatively frequent readers and three others who I would call seasonal readers, who check in on my blog about once every three months or so. The seasonal readers have no desire to hear about my racist and arrogant opinions on stuff that I really don’t have a clue about, so I think they will gain more from not seeing them. But really, anyone that reads this stuff has to consider themselves a pretty privileged individual now, don’t they?

But as ever, this blog, and indeed most blogs are merely designed to be a form of self therapy, helping me get things off my chest and allowing me to reflect on how things are going. It is nothing more and nothing less.

But to return to my earlier theme of what the future holds. So this is what I shall do. My immediate objectives, my three-year plan if you will, is to become a qualified teacher, to learn French and to advance my part time career with the Royal Navy up to a level where I’m in a position to comfortably request some real operational tours of duty. I think this provides a pretty sound base from which to then branch out into other careers and quests. Three years may sound like a long time to me right now, but it’s really not. If it all goes to plan than I’ll be twenty six by the time this is all done, which isn’t at all bad. So, that’s the plan then. I’ll have to make sure I stick to it and create perhaps some mini objectives in between, and maybe a few additional ones around the fringes, just to keep me interesting. Who knows? Anyway. Thanks for reading.