Starbucks and Waterstones

Beautiful people with such innocent dreams. Pure of heart and track records as white as the Alps they so frequently frequent. Imagine actually being good at snowboarding? That is a ridiculous concept - isn’t it? They are all younger than me now. I hear them every night. In their heels and tacked back hair. Staggering through the temporary streets, past the professional drunks and the homeless. Back to their Beatles wallpapers and brightly coloured socks. In fact I think there are so many of us now that I think it will be very hard to break us. No amount of religious hatred will shake these glossy and international foundations lose.

This is not a coherent blog entry. I’m just rehashing old ideas because they are still prevalent. I’m not sure what’s going on here these days. Oh, it’s certainly on the up. In fact it is as best as it has even been. So much so that I don’t even have to rationalise it. It’s just an accepted fact.

Spend five minutes on Myspace. Ask yourself just how rich are we? Hard to believe isn’t it. Millions of us. All wanting to save the world. A million poets and authors. A million politicians. A million aid workers. A million of the most educated and enlightened individuals mankind has ever produced. We are the third generation of uninterrupted growth. Spain for the summer? How bad things must have been back then.

Millions of us have made it to this middle class utopia. Yet millions more of our white comrades have not and will not. And as our economy begs for the borders to be opened up millions of hard working and thrifty immigrants arrive to do the job those down right rotten white underclasses refuse to do. The children of these welcome newcomers will join ours. We will move on, leaving the estates behind. The estates will breed hatred against the new colours. Yet we will stand fast with our new brethren and protect our three holidays a year lifestyle. Until the ice melts and washes the problem makers away. It’s already happened once. Our middle class God purges the inner city of its filth. We’ll just take up sailing.

A million Charles Booth’s will rise. We will sympathetically vote liberal while directing our sat-navs around the Westside of town.

City breaks and recycle boxes.
Starbucks and Waterstones.
Heathrow and Newark.
The Independent and skiing holidays.
The FT and the Observer.
Castles of enlightenment.
Padlocks against crime.

We do not listen to rap music. We are the elite.

And this is our world.

Battle Star

Perhaps I am simply becoming more aware of these things, but mistake me if I’m wrong, is American television not experiencing something of a Renaissance at the moment? The likes of ‘Lost’, ‘24’, the ‘OC’ and ‘Scrubs’ etc seem to be winning over people in their droves. And not just Americans, but intelligent and straight thinking Europeans, people who would otherwise baulk at the thought of consuming anything ‘American’. My flatmates, for example, have recently become slaves to the goings on of another, slightly less known television drama called ‘Heroes’.

Has this always been the case? Has American television always secured a devoted fan base, a devoted and cross-generational fan base at that (many of my mates parents can’t get enough of ‘Lost’ for example). Or is this something new? I suspect it is. Sure we all watched ‘Friends’ and many became addicted to ‘Sex in the City’ but never did these programs seem to attain the cult status that program after program seems to be acquiring. I could be dead pretentious and pretend I could explain it away by noting that cinema attendance, for example, has always risen in relation to the stress a nations people perceive themselves to be under. Escapist pastimes attract more when reality is so dire. And with global warming and global terrorism – is it to big a leap to say that people are sub-consciously becoming more and more absorbed in their television sets?

Probably not. Perhaps it is the natural by-product of the fierce competition that came with the digital revolution and more consumer choice. Perhaps television is simply a format that is coming of age, hitting its peak. Perhaps it is to do with the way people watch these programs – many, if not most download from the web and watch what they want – when they want it. Perhaps it is all three of these things. Perhaps it is not any of them.

Either way – I have also fallen victim. I have held out for so long against these television temptations, like a Frenchmen determined to cling on to his outdated way of life when all around are happily munching on Big Macs. But my resistance has finally given out. The Americans rapped up a quality drama series in a Sci-Fi cloak and slipped it past my defences.

Battle Star Galactica. Was a 70’s movie I used to watch as a kid from time to time, usually when I’d run another VHS of Star Wars into the ground and had little else available. Well it’s back. And it’s been back for sometime. And I’ve been ignoring it for sometime. But at the prompting of a flatmate and a good review in the Big Issue I decided to take a look.

And its fantastic! I’ve only watched the four-part pilot so far – but it looks and feels amazing. Real life drama which shows a vision of the future, complete with all the nitty gritty, untidy and dirty side of life that other Sci-Fi’s badly lack. Yet it does so with a certain degree of style and with a healthy dose of social commentary. Apparently in the second series the humans are living under occupation and have to fight back – Iraqi style – with suicide bombings and hit and run attacks. Even the pilot is overflowing with historical and cultural references. Some talented and brave writers one feels, who do not pamper the American’s sense of superiority as say – ‘24’ – does.

It’s Sci-Fi, it’s dirty and it’s deep. I love it.

Well done America.

A Culture Novel

“A space opera of stunning power and awesome imagination” so reads the blurb. It’s not wrong.

I don’t think it’s really fair to use my own cumbersome words to describe this book. Yet I sort of feel I have to because I want to tell you all how good it is. So I’ll keep it brief.

It is a deep yet simple adventure, which effortlessly unfolds before you, weaving together a detailed and ingeniously devised universe full of bright and inspiring ideas. His language is at times also gorgeously rich and is just – wow – it’s like watching high definition television or something. But in an entirely different world. Magic.

Iain Banks is perhaps most famous for his fiction, starting with his first book called ‘The Wasp Factory’ which I have, I am ashamed to say, not yet read. But believe me. I will be. Banks adds the ‘M’ to his name when publishing his science fiction novels. I have his second ‘Culture Novel’ beside me right now. Can’t wait.

Al Jazeera

Just a quick bulletin really to draw all your attention to Al Jazeera. The Arabic news service based in Qatar grabbed the west’s attention when it was first to broadcast Osama Bin Laden’s videos as well as broadcasting in full the footage of the American prisoner abuse when the western stations refused to do so.

Far from being the public relations arm of Islamic extremists it has, just like any self respected news service, smarted itself up and gone for the big time. Its rapid growth has it currently taking on the likes of the BBC, FOX and CNN at their own game. Their relatively new English speaking service (to be found at http://english.aljazeera.net) is pretty amazing if I am to be honest. You see what with my reputation for being horribly exciting to upkeep, I ensure that I spend a great deal of my time browsing news sites, so as something of a connoisseur of news services I think you should all heed my advice and check it out immediately. It’s superb. Really is. It gives a broad overview of world news without the western bias, which while none of us like to think exists – really does. Yet having said that do not for a second think it is the mindless ravings of some sort of Islamic cleric. Oh no. Far from it. This is top quality and finely balanced journalism at its best. A fine addition to anyone’s RSS feed.

And if you don’t have RSS feeds on your homepage by now. Then shame on you.

Mayflower

The first words spoken on the Moon were in English. But the English have never been to the Moon.

The English were on the winning side in the Second World War. Yet it was not the English that won the war.

England was once the richest nation on earth. But it was the colonies that made it so.

Today England has one of the highest subscription rates to the Internet in the world. Yet England did not invent the Internet.

England also has one of the highest rates of lung cancer in the world. But tobacco does not grow in England.

It was the ancestors of the English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, French, Dutch, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Swiss - that when faced with domestic hardship did not just accept it, but rather risked everything to cross the Atlantic and start afresh, to boldly go, some may say into an undiscovered country. It was they who sold up all their possessions, said goodbye to their families and friends and who paid huge sums to embark on dangerous sailing ships on month long journeys across a vast, largely unknown natural obstacle. Upon arrival it was they who often starved to death, it was they that had to adapt to a new environment and in turn it was they that did so much to adapt the environment to them. They suffered greatly and life was far from easy, every day was a challenge and many believed they would forever remain a small subsistence community on the fringes. Some even considered them a waste of money and few financiers would take the risk.

Tens of thousands perished. Yet over a hundred or so years millions more made the voyage in a march of manifest destiny. Millions of natives died, whole cultures and civilisations were distorted and destroyed before the newcomers. The death toll was horrific, yet in the wake of all this death, in the wake of all this sacrifice, these European settlers built their city on a hill. It became a citadel of personal liberty and freedom. Far from perfect, at its best theirs is a culture of discovery and achievement. At its worst their pulpits still echo with the words of seventeenth century European superstition. Yet thankfully it has been their best that has so often led their affairs. It is to the ancestors of these brave settlers, these heroic migrants, which Europe having once equipped, came to owe its liberty.

Today we face a new challenge; in part it is largely a by-product of the success of the colonies. Yet it is one we are unlikely to sufficiently tackle - even if we could work together. We face domestic hardships now on a catastrophically collective scale. Are we to just accept it? Or are we to risk all?

To whom do we, not as nations, but as a race - rely upon now, in our hour of need?

Where are man’s colonies?

Ich Hic

New Year, new start and all that … don’t usually go in for that sort of stuff, but now is as good a time as any I suppose … right, so … Edinburgh … History’s not looking so great … don’t want it to be a complete waste of time … so … learn a language … yer … that’s what I’ll do … I’ll look dead clever … which language? … French … I hear they are pretty rude people … Spanish? … Nah, all my mates speak Spanish anyway, bound to get a smart arse correcting me and I don’t fancy the competition … German? Yer! – No one I know speaks German … brilliant, it will be my little thing, ok, phone up … book class … Tuesdays at 6.30 fantastic - right after my other class, perfect….

New professor for the Tuesday class, he seems nice enough, “you guys fancy going for a few beers just to break the ice?” he says … yer, why not. “First round’s on me” he says…. “Second one is on me!” someone else shouts … oh, now be careful Karic, you haven’t eaten all day and those two went straight to your head … not only are you now talking gibberish but you’ve got to be pretty level headed for your first German class… so take it easy … “What’s that? A third you say?” - Say no, say no … “ok, sure why not?” I says ... What? You fool, do you not listen to me? I says back.

Right, must go. It’s 6.15, that gives me plenty of time to find … …. Dixon Street? No… Castle Street? Nah. Oh Christ. … Think Karic think, where was it? 21 …. Newington Place? No… Oh hell, it’s almost 6.30 … Quick – Hic - who can help me? … phone Dave … “Hey mate! How you doing? I was hoping you could do me a – Hic - quick favour, could you just Google the name of this language company? It’s IA … …. IA …. B? No. IA….. Hic, Damn it – Ok, mate don’t worry I’ll phone you back” … run Karic run … I know its down here somewhere … Hey! That’s the company logo right? Sure is – phew that was lucky – Run in and read board ‘German: Room 4G’. Brilliant.

Knock on door and enter … twenty faces are looking at me … they are all standing in a circle … one’s holding a beanbag … oh no …. “German class?” she says, “Yup” I reply … oh no … please don’t do that, damn she did … she threw the beanbag at me … now what do I do? “Wie heißen Sie, bitte?” … er…. “Sorry?”, “Wie heißen Sie, bitte?” … they are still all looking at me …. Do something Karic … “Ich…?” … That didn’t work … she’s egging me on now … you fool … “Ich” … well done clever clogs, now what you going to do? “Ich? - No – sorry, what?” I stutter … brilliant ... bravo, you’re a true hero … “You are here for German, yes?” “Yes…” “Intermediate German yes?” … “Oh, intermediate German – no, sorry I want the beginners, did I get the wrong room?” “Wrong room? You got the wrong building, you want the place on Hill Street”. “Ah. Hill Street … And where’s that?” … Oh dear, she’s not happy with me … “Hmph, it is off Newington – on the other side” “Newington!? You mean” “Yes, the other side of town” ... “Oh … ok, sorry, thanks anyway” … turn Karic, turn … walk … don’t look back ... out of door and shut … you idiot … you should of known you wouldn’t be lucky enough to just stumble across the damn place … right … Newington ... run!

Hill Street, correct logo? Check and check … good … up to the top floor - German … knock and enter … “Hi” I beam, “Beginners German yes?”, “That’s us, take a seat” phew … finally here … look for seat, nearest one … the one next to … wow, she’s nice …smile, and … “Hi, my name’s Karic” I say - “Hic” I add. Damn. You Hic’ed. Brilliant.You loser – quick - blush it off, perhaps she’ll buy it … “aha, sorry, got hiccups” … she doesn’t seem amused … perhaps she can smell my breath and knows full well why I have hiccups … you fool … anyway, … ok, she’s not talking to me then … oh nice - awkward silence … I’ll get my stuff from my bag … that’ll make me look busy … right done that … hmmm … oh, new teacher – she looks ok … she’s writing on the board … oh no … you didn’t put your contacts in did you? Oh hell … I can’t see a thing … I can normally make out enough of the word to guess it … in English that is … oh nuts …. What did she write? … quick, glance at the girls page, she’s written it … what does that say? “Wie heißen Sie, bitte?”. Ah. Brilliant.

New Year, New Start. Hic.

Karic becomes a Republican (for the day)

The Democrats are in control of both houses. Surely a good thing, right? Well. Perhaps not. They are putting pressure on Bush to bring the troops home. To cut and run from Iraq and spare pretty, white faced Christian Americans from the wrath of disgruntled Iraqis. Brilliant.

So as we all know the initial decision to invade might not go down as America’s finest hour but surely to quit now – to leave Iraq worse off than it was under Saddam (which it is), to not protect the fragile democracy that while forcibly thrust upon Iraq nonetheless is worth defending, and to hand Iran, a sinister Islamic influence, a great opportunity over its age long rival is surely suicidal in geo-political terms. If we were to quit now we would have simply done Iran’s work for them – they have longed to see Saddam removed from power – and to their delight they had the world’s finest army, led by a monkey of a born-again Christian fanatic, come in and do it for them. Brilliant.

The problem with American politics rears its ugly head once more with the new Democratic balance of power. The two parties are simply to extreme. A moderate force must come to the fore – America cannot keep jumping between the Christian crusading rhetoric of the South and the socially liberal and pansy footing of the North East. Sure - if they stay more Americans will die. That is a given. By deciding to stay Bush is in effect sending fellow citizens to their certain death. Yet now is not the time to become all-high and mighty about ethics, America sacrificed that right by starting the war in the first place. Iraqi people, not American citizens but fellow human beings, are going to keep dying in their droves if America stays or goes, yet there is more chance that firstly peace can come to Iraq with America’s help and secondly that it will not fall into Iran’s hands and become a flashpoint for future wars (and future deaths) between the West and East if America stays. By staying now America can reduce the long run death toll.

Europe needs to come to America’s aid on this one too, it was shameful at the recent NATO conference when the European nations sat on their hands when it came to sending more troops to Afghanistan. If America goes down – then so does liberal democracy – and Europe can’t survive for long without our bullyboy across the Atlantic doing the things for us that we find unpleasant to do ourselves. And I’m not talking just sending more soldiers and guns, that won’t help much. You need to send more aid workers, investment bankers and engineers. While its not easy to get an economy up and running in the midst of petty, God derived infighting - it is essential. I don’t care who you are or what religion you follow - becoming a martyr is a little less appealing if you have a business to look out for.

America has to stay. More Americans have to die. The job has to be done. I’m with Bush on this one. Stuff the Democrats. Don’t get the boys out. Get more in.